Walking on the Water

Abider Not A Provider

2009-09-17T22:51:00.001-04:00

Five days into my 40-day commitment to give up TV and to make growing in my relationship with God my #1 priority all day every day and my head is spinning! The spiritual lessons are coming so fast that I need to sort it all out before I can share them with any clarity. Will post more on this later.

One thing I can say with certainty is that I never realized how much valuable time I was wasting each week mindlessly sitting in front of a TV. The first couple of days were tough because turning on the TV is such a deeply ingrained habit but, in less than a week, I realize I rarely think about it anymore. I hope you will consider joining me in this challenge. The rewards are amazing!

The first night without TV I used a link provided by my son and daughter-in-law to access an online sermon posted on their church's website. Wow! Just the message I needed to hear. (They know me so well!) This sermon provided some practical advice that I truly needed to apply to my life.

I can honestly say that right now I am experiencing a lightness of soul and freedom from striving that I have not enjoyed for months. I am focusing solely on staying connected to Jesus (The Vine) and becoming a conduit of nourishment for others rather than trying to produce the nourishment myself. How liberating!

For some illogical reason, I keep sliding back into my old habits of focusing on productivity instead of connectivity. In case you struggle with the same issues, here is a link to the sermon http://bit.ly/12mdej . This message is part of the Amnesia Series: Who Am I?

Description: Often, in everyday life, Christians forget that our identity is in Christ. We take it on as our own responsibility, putting it on ourselves, and the burden is too much for us to bear. Listen online to re-discover your true identity.

The sermon I referenced above is Week 3: Abider Not A Producer. I pray that the truth of this message impacts your life as much as it has mine. For me, it was like stumbling into an oasis after a long hot trek through the desert. Enjoy!

Portrait of a Broken Mind

2009-09-15T21:03:00.002-04:00

Michael has posted the music referenced in my post: Marked For Life 09/14/09 on his website at http://bit.ly/MichaelsMusic . The piece is titled "Portrait of a Broken Mind" and is listed under the Acoustic Music section on the right. Take a listen and let him know what you think. I know it would mean a lot to him. Many blessings to you and your family!

I Think I Finally Got "It"!

2009-09-14T20:44:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I attended a worship service at North Rock Hill Church with my son and daughter-in-law. Every time I visit, I am reminded how much I love this wonderful fellowship of believers in Rock Hill, SC!

The message delivered by pastor Chris Ruppe resonated in my heart and convicted me about my priorities. Although I felt confident I was walking on the right path because my efforts were focused on my ministry for the Lord, something didn’t feel right. I found myself sacrificing valuable time with my family, my friends, my business, and worse yet - my time alone with God in a determined attempt to satisfy the expectations of those in the publishing industry.

Despite my best intentions, I had once again fallen into the “striving, competing, build a platform for yourself” trap that insidiously finds its way even into the world of Christian publishing. As time progressed, I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable because my activities were feeling less like a way to share Jesus, and more like a familiar ride on the old gerbil wheel.

I have been praying for direction for weeks and finally God has opened my eyes to the obvious. Beginning today, I am taking it back to the basics. I do my job – reveling in my relationship with Him while writing and speaking His praises to others. And He does His job – opening doors and creating opportunities for people to hear!

To ensure I stay on the right track, I am participating in a daily devotion on this topic. Plus I have accepted a 40-day challenge to give up a time-consuming activity I enjoy and use the time to focus on the Kingdom of God rather than pursuing my own agenda and asking Him to bless it! The activity I’m giving up? TV!

I confess this may be difficult at first because I enjoy relaxing with programs like The Cleaner on A & E (note the redemptive value!) but I am confident the rewards of drawing nearer to my Savior will be well worth it!

My devotional study for today helped me to realize that I’ve been behaving as though everything depends on me, rather than acknowledging that everything depends upon God.

Today’s lesson from John 6:1-14 reminded me of a quote I heard (on TV!) a few days ago: “That voice in your head (spurring you to relentless effort) isn’t your conscience – it’s your ego.”

So, what’s driving you? Do you really believe that God is in control of every aspect of your life? Are you focused solely on pleasing Him or are you running as fast as you can while pursuing your own agenda and getting nowhere?

If you want to join me on this journey, I will post the triumphs and challenges that occur along the way right here. Use the comment option below to let me know how you are doing and we will walk through this learning experience together!

Marked for Life

2009-09-14T13:35:00.003-04:00

September 13, 2009 contained one of the those “Marker Moments” in life that changed something inside me so completely I will forever remember the day as life before and life after…

My sons were always extremely close. And when Stephen was alive, he played an integral role in Michael’s interest in music composition – both as a source of inspiration and as an advisor.

Yesterday afternoon, I had the privilege of sitting in a recital hall at Winthrop University as an ensemble of professional musicians (piano, flute, clarinet, violin and cello led by a conductor) performed and recorded an original composition by Michael Dropps titled, “Portrait of a Broken Mind”.

This was the first time Michael’s music has been performed publicly and it was magnificent! The arrangement was particularly meaningful because it was a tribute he wrote for Stephen. Michael truly poured his heart into revealing Stephen’s soul through this piece and he nailed it. I could almost see Stephen sitting with us, his chin in his hand, nodding to the rhythm and wearing a huge grin.

As a mom, nothing could move me more than to see Michael completely engaged in the music he loves, to watch him advise the performers as they practiced the piece, to hear their positive comments about his work, to observe how much his wife Jessica loves him and supports his dreams, and to know that Stephen continues to live on through Michael’s obedience to the call God has placed on his life.

I wish I could have frozen the moment and lived in it forever – it was that good! And when I consider the spectacular series of events that God orchestrated to make this event a reality, I am once again stunned by His power, His grace, and His love for us.

For more information, check out Michael’s website at www.michaeldropps.com. I expect him to have photos and audio posted shortly!

Once again, I have witnessed evidence that when we are where we are supposed to be, using our passions as God intended, all of heaven sings!

Do you know the wonder of living in the purpose that God intended for your life? That place where all of your gifts, passions, and experiences combine to bring glory to your Creator? I would love to hear about your experiences! Take a minute and leave a comment below.

If you’ve never known this power, let me hear from you as well. I’d love to point you toward the source that can fill your life with direction and meaning. You can’t even imagine how good your life can be!

Birthday Celebration

2009-08-31T14:35:00.003-04:00

Every year on Stephen's birthday and again on the anniversary of his death (his new life in heaven!), I honor my son's memory by spending time with the Lord for the express purpose of thanking Him for the love I share with Stephen. And each year, God responds by giving me an unexpected and spectacular gift that soothes the pain in my heart and provides me with a tangible sign of His presence. This year was no exception!

August 30, 2009 marked the date twenty seven years ago that a blonde haired, blue-eyed, brilliantly complex little boy entered my world and forever captivated my heart. When I discovered that fellow evangelist and dear friend, Scott Eadie, would be preaching a revival in nearby Laurens County August 30-Sept 3, I made plans to attend. Scott is an incredibly gifted preacher and I knew his Spirit-filled message of deliverance would lead me right to the throne of God. On Stephen's birthday and every day in between, that is precisely where I most want to be!

Last night was extraordinary. Scott preached a sermon entitled, "So close, but not in" pointing out how so many people take steps in the right direction, some even getting close enough to kiss the door of heaven (Jesus), but never taking the only step (surrendering to Him) that secures their place in the Kingdom of God. The response was tremendous and I was thrilled to witness so many accepting the call of the Holy Spirit during the invitation. What a blessing! If God had stopped there, it would have been more than enough for me to feel the power of His arms comforting me and holding me tight.

But there was more! The Lord gave me a front row seat as a drama unfolded before me - a scene that He knew would have special meaning for me and touch my soul like nothing else could.

As the crowd of hundreds sang numerous verses of the invitation, I saw a young man (early-mid twenties) walk back down the aisle after responding to the invitation and giving his heart to Christ. He stopped at the end of the row to my left and looked at the man standing directly in front of me. Although his expression was serious, his eyes radiated a light that defied description. The man in front of me hurried past the other people in the row and took the young fellow into his arms. They talked for a few minutes and then walked behind the section where I was standing and proceded up the aisle on my right.

Again, the young man stopped at the end of a row just ahead of me. He said something to the people standing there and I saw their faces break into smiles of absolute joy. From my vantage point, I had a clear view of an elderly man's face (I assume he was the young man's grandfather) when he learned that this young man he loved so much had just accepted Jesus as his Savior. It appeared to me that all of the deep lines on his face, possibly etched there by years of fervent prayer for his family, melted away in one beautiful moment. His expression spoke volumes without saying a word and the joy that passed between them as their eyes met was electrifying.

Tears flowed freely down my face as I observed the miracle of new - everlasting - life unfold right before my eyes. What a beautiful gift from the Father who always knows and provides exactly what I need.

Thank you, Lord, for saving this young man's soul and for ministering to the deepest places of my heart as only You can do. And also for giving me a glimpse of the expression that must have been on my precious grandfather's face when Pop saw his beloved Stephen join him in heaven!

I praise God for the gift of salvation and for the promise that lights my way as I journey toward my eternal home! Do you know my Jesus? If not, please follow this link http://www.calltofaith.net/promise to discover how you can meet the One who gave His life for you. Your new - everlasting - life can begin today!

What Kind of Love is This?

2009-04-16T16:23:00.019-04:00

In the past two months, I have been blessed to be considered for two tremendous opportunities for ministry. The first was having my third book seriously considered for publication by five major publishing firms in the Christian market. I have responded to their requests for additional material and am waiting for their decisions with great anticipation. Thanks to so many of you who have come alongside me to pray for this dream to become a reality! Please continue praying!

I was made aware of the second opportunity three weeks ago when I received a request for a speaking DVD from the coordinator of the Women's Lifestyle Evangelism Conference. This event, sponsored by the SC Baptist Convention, is held each January over a three day period in three SC cities: Taylors, Myrtle Beach, and Columbia and is attended by thousands of women in each city. I was thrilled to be considered as a speaker for this event but also humbled to think God might entrust me with such a significant responsibility.

Over the next few weeks I prayed that God would search my heart and find me ready to share my story of His deliverance in this venue. I prayed that He would accept me as a vessel that can be shaped and used for His glory alone and that many lives will be eternally changed as others witness His power revealed through my brokenness and restoration.

On Tuesday night of this week I dreamed of my son, Stephen. The details of our conversation are blurred and incomplete but I remember the sweet joy of touching him, talking to him, and gazing once again at his beautiful face.

When I awoke Wednesday morning, one scene from the dream remained crystal clear in my mind. Stephen was seated in a chair in front of me and I was standing behind him with my hands resting on his shoulders. I was listening to a girl with long dark hair who was seated across from him talk about her life. She smiled and laughed as she spoke about superficial, unsatisfying relationships and nights filled with endless parties but my heart responded to the emptiness I saw in her eyes. When she asked Stephen if he remembered seeing her at a party several years ago, I broke my silence.

“I hear you talking about all of the fun you are having with your friends but I don’t see any happiness in your heart. Instead I see someone who is desperately searching for love and always coming up empty. You may be a stranger to me but I know you because I have felt the same way you do. If you would like to hear about it, I can tell you where to find the only Love capable of satisfying the yearning in your heart. And when you meet Him, you will never be empty again.”

Just as she nodded and leaned forward to hear more, I was jolted awake by the sound of my alarm clock. As I lay in bed considering the details of my dream, I felt certain that I would receive a call today telling me I had been selected as a speaker for the SC Women's Lifestyle Evangelism Conference.

I pushed the thought from my mind, afraid to believe in case it didn’t happen. I didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment. But the feeling persisted.

A couple of hours later, the emotional battle continued to rage within me while I unsuccessfully tried to refocus my attention on processing payroll for my company. Each time I felt excitement rising within my heart, I firmly pushed it back down with a reminder to be logical. There was no reason for me to believe that I would receive a call today or to think I would be selected from all of the amazing Christian women who could fill this role for Him. A perfectly reasonable argument but for the fact that God was telling me otherwise!

Finally, I couldn't endure the pressure any longer and walked to the other side of my building where I retrieved my cell phone from my purse. Immediately, I saw the voicemail indicator light flashing and my pulse quickened.

The voice in my heart rejoiced, “I told you so!”

I pressed the button to reveal the telephone number of the missed call. My knees felt weak and I sank into my desk chair when it came into view. It was Beth, the coordinator of the Lifestyle Evangelism Conference!

I returned her call and listened in amazement as she informed me that the committee had selected me to serve as a speaker for their January 2010 event. Next year, I will have the privilege of joining the SC Baptist Women's Evangelism team, popular author, speaker, and missionary Kim Hardy and a not-yet-announced but very special internationally-recognized Bible teacher and award-winning author (check back for an exciting future announcement!) to tell women, some like the one in my dream, where they can find a Love that will never leave them empty!

What kind of Love is this? It is the kind that doesn’t reject us and turn away when we struggle with doubts and insecurities or stumble over our pasts but tenderly takes our face in His hand, tilts our chin toward heaven and promises, “Child, listen to Me. I have everything under control and I love you!”

Thank you, God for the unspeakable privilege of serving You and for Your endless patience with me!

An Inconvenient Faith

2009-02-07T21:01:00.005-05:00

The older I get, the more truth I find in the old French proverb, “There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.” Most nights I slip into slumber easily and awaken the following morning refreshed and eager to embrace a new day. But sometimes rest eludes me, chased away by regrets I have inadvertently created during the day. If only I could fully appreciate the significance of each decision at the time I am making it.

In the Parable of the Good Samaritan found in Luke, Chapter 10, our attention is drawn to the man who unselfishly gives love to a stranger. He is the hero of the story; a model for the behavior Jesus would like for us to emulate. It’s easy for us to see ourselves in that role and identify with the good guy. Given the right circumstances, surely we would also rise to the occasion and do the right thing.

Imagining the appropriate response is easy but actually putting our faith into practice is often quite inconvenient. Serving God is costly in terms of time, treasure, and talents. The Samaritan was willing to pay whatever price was required but the priest and the Levite had none of these to spare. Both clearly saw the suffering but crossed to the other side of the road and passed by. Undoubtedly they had important appointments to keep, no money to spare, and too many people to please. They couldn’t be bothered with the needs of a stranger.

Although many of us have more in common with the sinners in the story rather than the saint, Jesus didn’t elaborate about them. He probably figured we are already well acquainted with the consequences of selfishness and no further discussion about them was required. We needed a higher standard to follow. But I am curious. Was their indifference to suffering a momentary lapse or a typical way of life? Did they sleep well that night? Or did they toss and turn, haunted by regrets over what could have been, restlessly counting each hour until the light of dawn finally pierced the darkness?

If the test had required less sacrifice, perhaps they would have passed it. But a test cannot truly measure character unless it forces us to stretch and these fellows had no room for flexibility.

My test also came at the worst possible time. It was Saturday night and I had been suffering with a dreadful cold since Wednesday. My sinuses were aching and the simple act of breathing was laborious. Even talking wasn't worth the effort required. I wanted nothing more than a warm bed and the blessed oblivion of sleep but reluctantly agreed to accompany my husband to the mall to return a few items.

I had just completed my third and final return transaction and was on my way to meet my husband when I saw her. It was just a glimpse really. I noticed a young woman with long dark hair exiting a rest room at least twenty feet away. I had turned the corner and taken at least ten more steps before the thought penetrated the cold medicine induced fog in my brain. She had both of her hands near her face. Was she crying?

Honestly, I didn’t want to know the answer. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I did; however, I was sick and didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I simply wanted to go home and slip into my warm bed.

Yet, a world of possibilities stretched before me. If she was crying, this was an opportunity to share God’s love with her by listening, offering prayer, and comforting her. If I was mistaken, I had nothing to lose. The compassion that led me to retrace my steps to be certain she was okay might open the door to an interesting conversation or a new friendship. God had opened a door. Would I cross the threshold and allow Him to use me to bless another or would I cross to the other side?

Like the priest and the Levite, I am also a Christian leader. I am passionate about my love for Jesus, but the timing of this encounter was incredibly inconvenient.

Hours later, I finally climbed into my bed but the warmth brought little comfort and I did not enjoy the peaceful rest I anticipated. Instead, I spent several miserable hours vainly trying to formulate one single excuse God might find acceptable.

Two weeks later, I am still regretting my decision to turn away and speculating about what might have been. Now that I’ve had time to reconsider my response, I would gladly sacrifice my time, my treasure, and my talents to provide assistance to her but the moment has passed and the opportunity has been lost. I cannot recapture what might have been. I hope the next person to come along behind me was less concerned with convenience and more committed to Christ-like compassion than I was.

This test is over and the results are in: I failed. But God is patient with slow-learners. He will give me another chance and the next time will be different regardless of how I feel.

Even so, I wish I knew how this story ended.

Can you tell me?

What did you do when you saw her?

Finally - Everything's Ready!

2009-01-22T18:31:00.005-05:00

I admit it, I'm tired! But also very excited! This evening I completed a major effort that I have been working on since November 08. My work in ministry and in my employment services business frequently puts me in touch with people who are struggling with serious personal and financial challenges; people who fear what the future may hold for them and their loved ones. Last fall as we watched the stock market plummet and unemployment rise, God burdened my heart to respond to these needs by expanding the methods I use to communicate His love with others.

The result?

A completely redesigned and interactive website
An encouraging monthly newsletter
A new ministry series designed to help others walk with confidence on the turbulent waters of life
and naturally, this blog where we can exchange ideas, share prayer concerns, and encourage one another with real life examples of God's faithfulness.

Even if I never meet you this side of heaven, I am praying your heart will be encouraged, your faith will be strengthened, and your soul will be inspired by what you find here. Since anyone with access to a computer and the internet can enjoy most of these tools free of charge, I will now be able to share my truly incredible, absolutely amazing, unbelievable, your jaw-will-hit-the-floor stories of God's faithfulness with a much bigger audience! Dare I pray, the world?!

You will find amazing testimonies here but even more importantly, I pray you will meet my Savior here. My mission is to reveal Him to you in all of His glory so you also can know a love that can never be lost and a security that can never be shaken!

Here you will find honesty and transparency. I don't get it right every time and when I don't you will hear about it. I will share with you just as openly the times I stumble as well as the times I soar! In fact, look for a "stumble story" in my next post. It happened a week ago and I still can't stop thinking about it. I think that means God wants me to share it with you so be on the lookout!

I am glad you stopped by. Before you go, I need to give credit where credit is due:

First, to my so-very-patient-with-me Lord, who provides the inspiration and reason for all I do. Without You, I am nothing.

And next, to all of the people closely involved with Call to Faith Ministries who encourage me and provide the support you don't see. The face on the website is mine but without these folks, I could not get it all done:

My husband, Jasper; mom, Norma; son Michael and his wife Jessica; and daughter, Casey who patiently serve as my proof-readers and make sure I have the time I need to write these messages. Your prayers, encouragement, and support mean the world to me!

My precious son, Stephen, because of you, I learned what it means to truly live and can now share this priceless gift with others. Words are completely inadequate....

Lastly, all the folks in tech support with ACS Technologies who cheerfully and promptly respond to my numerous website development questions. Special thanks to Scott Dixon - you're the best!

I am blessed to be a part of this joint effort! May we bless you in return. Hope you come back soon!

How Big is God?

2009-01-11T13:33:00.002-05:00

While reading my devotion yesterday morning, I came across a conversation between a father and his young daughter that made a significant impression upon me. After listening to her dad read the family devotion, the little girl asked, “Daddy, how big is God?”

Her father smiled and gently replied, “Honey, God is always a lot bigger than you need.”

What a powerful response! And one that continues to resonate in my soul as I contemplate the challenges that lie ahead for our nation and many of us individually.

There is no doubt, I need a God who is huge because my needs are often more than I can bear alone. Don’t you agree? What needs are relentlessly buffeting your life? What fears are causing you sleepless nights or anxious days? Too many bills - too little money? Conflict with another or with everyone? Marital problems? Loss of your job or of your home? Is someone you love in danger? The list may seem endless.

From a national perspective, I have never witnessed such economic uncertainty or seen Christian values come under such organized or seemingly effective attack. Imagining a future based on our current trend can leave us feeling helpless and hopeless.

Like you, I am also facing uncertainties and financial stress due to business pressures. Additionally, I mourn for the lives I see crumbling around me: lives sacrificed to the pursuit of pleasure and material treasure, beautiful souls lost to drugs and alcohol, and families fractured from lack of an internal anchor to position them securely and bind them together.

Into the very center of this tempest, steps my Savior, who gently whispers to me, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” (Matthew 14:27)

As I raise my head in response to His voice and reach for His hand, the miraculous occurs! The fears dissipate and the voices whispering doubt subside. A gentle peace settles upon my soul and persistently weaves its way into my heart.

Have the problems disappeared? Has God stepped in and made everything right? Sometimes, He does. But more often than not my trial is intended to accomplish a specific, sometimes mysterious, purpose and I have simply been reminded that while all may not be well in my world; all is well with my soul! Trials are temporary but the love of my Savior endures forever.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

May you also be strengthened and comforted by His peace today and know that with Jesus by your side as Lord of your life, all is indeed well with your soul!

Passion with Purpose!

2008-12-01T14:31:00.001-05:00

From the color of your eyes and hair to the curve of your cheekbone; from your love of music, reading, or art to your enjoyment of sports; from the skill of your hands to the passions of your heart; every intrinsic special characteristic that makes you — YOU, was intentionally and lovingly designed by your Creator. You are His masterpiece; designed for significance and intended for a spectacular and enduring purpose.

Yet, too many of us fall short of that glory; never comprehending the meaning behind the triumphs and challanges of life. Our days are consumed with competing responsibilities; each demanding increasing amounts of time and energy. We lose ourselves and sacrifice our relationships to a frenzied cycle of activity and the endless quest for personal success. Meanwhile, we miss the very best life has to offer...our intended one-on-one connection with our Lord and Savior.

God speaks to each of us; reaching through our clouds of self-sufficiency and promising to replace the aching void in our lives with unspeakable joy and lasting peace. Have you experienced the transforming power of His embrace? Do you know that you are treasured by God? Regardless of how far from Him you may have strayed, the Lord cherishes you. He is standing near with loving attention focused upon you; asking you to turn and respond to His call; to fully realize the amazing purpose for which you were created.

Today, I encourage you to make that choice. Deliberately and consistently seek Him. Intentionally step close to Him until your heart is engaged with His every moment of every day. He will take you places you have never been and reveal to you wonders you could never imagine! Wishing you a life of glorious purpose!

What If It Had Been Today?

2008-10-11T20:27:00.000-04:00

Friday, October 11, 2008 could very easily have become a day immortalized by tragedy for my family. My husband, Jasper, and I were traveling from our home in Greenwood to Ridgeway, SC. With only 30 miles to go, we were looking forward to a relaxing weekend on the lake with friends whom we had not seen in several years.

It was a few minutes past 5 pm and so far the trip had been pleasant and uneventful. Traffic was moderately heavy and moving briskly as we drove along Interstate 20 East. We had just passed the Clemson Road exit and were approaching the 84 mile marker when I glanced at the clock. I was pleased to see we should arrive at our destination right on time and decided to wait just a few more minutes before calling our friends to tell them we were getting close.

A truck pulling a pontoon boat was traveling in the same direction immediately ahead of us and Jasper eased into the inside lane to pass. As we neared the rear of the trailer, I suddenly noticed a large white object rise from the back of the boat and come sailing straight toward the windshield directly in front of my face. A quick thought raced through my mind: that cushion is going to hit us but it should simply bounce off without causing any damage. Although I felt no fear, I closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact just in case.

In the next instant, I was startled by a tremendous crash and my face and upper body were pelted by broken glass. Somehow Jasper managed to hold our car in our lane without swerving. “Are you okay?” He asked anxiously. I made a quick visual inspection. “Yes,” I whispered. Somehow, although I was covered with glass and could feel the sharp edges inside my clothes and even in my shoes, I didn’t have a scratch on me. I stared in disbelief at the gaping hole and splintered glass directly in front of me where an intact windshield had been only moments before.

Jasper quickly pulled alongside the driver and began blowing the horn to get his attention. When the driver glanced toward me, I pointed at my windshield and motioned for him to pull over. He immediately complied and Jasper carefully maneuvered our SUV onto the shoulder of the road and came to a stop in front of him. As Jasper approached the driver and assured him we were both unhurt, I called the highway patrol and examined our vehicle. There was significant damage to the windshield which extended to the roof of the car and the luggage rack on my side of the car. How could a boat cushion have caused such damage, I wondered.

Although I wouldn’t discover the answer until a few hours later, Jasper had already received an explanation from the driver. As we talked with the police officer and made arrangements for a wrecker and rental car, he repeatedly asked me, “Are you sure you are okay? If that had come all the way through the windshield you would have been killed.” I thought he might be exaggerating the danger just a little since it was only a cushion that had hit the car. Surely a cushion couldn’t come through the windshield I thought but still I was puzzled by the extent of the damage.

Later, once we were safely inside a rental car and continuing on our journey, I had a chance to ask the question that had been bothering me. “Jasper, how could a cushion have done that?” He looked at me in surprise. “You don’t know?”
“Know what?” I asked.
“That wasn’t just a cushion. It was a seat cushion with a wooden bottom. You are lucky to be alive.” His voice cracked and he grasped my hand. “If that seat had hit the windshield at a slightly different angle, I would have lost you tonight.”

This information certainly put a different light on the situation. Yes, I realized, I could have been killed tonight. What does that mean to me? How do I feel about death when the possibility of my own demise comes this close to reality? What do I really believe will happen to me when I leave this earth? While the event raised questions definitely worth considering, I didn’t have to ponder the questions long because I already know the answers.

Would it surprise you to learn I did not feel alarm or apprehension but simply introspective? I felt as though God had kissed my forehead and said to me, “Not tonight beloved, but someday…” My emotions were a strange contrast of sharp longing for Him combined with thankfulness that I had been given more time to serve Him here.

Although I deeply love my family and friends and can’t bear the idea of being even temporarily separated from them, when my appointed day comes, I know I will face death without fear. Instead of dread, I will greet the end of this life with joyful anticipation because of the intimate personal relationship I share with Jesus Christ. I know Him and He has proven His faithfulness to me over and over again. I stand upon His promises to me and our history together, ready to go whenever He calls me home.

Based upon His incredible promises, what can I expect to happen to me after I die?

Because Jesus is Lord of my life, I know with certainty I am heaven-bound!
“That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord.’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

Considering the spectacular beauty and incredible complexity of our planet, heaven will be indescribable!
“…No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Romans 14, verse 11 tells us “’As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’”
Even those who deny his sovereignty on earth will one day bow before Him as they are banished from His presence and sentenced to eternal torment. Because I have chosen to worship and serve him with my mortal life - the only opportunity we have to make this choice – my sins are forgiven and I can rest in the promise of Romans 8:1: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” 1 Corinthians 8:1

Although I have sinned against Him greatly and have left a trail of regrets in my life, because I have accepted Jesus as my Savior, I can look forward to meeting God with joyous anticipation rather than dread and fear.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Because my Father defends me, I have no reason to fear!
“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him, we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’” 1 Corinthians 8:15

I will receive a new indestructible spiritual body!
“When the perishable is clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: ’Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?’”
1 Corinthians 15:54-55

I have surrendered everything to God and asked Him to make my life a love story to Jesus written on tablets of human hearts. Despite my human failings and weaknesses, in heaven I will receive rewards from a God who treasures me rather than punishment from a God whom I have rejected.
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing.” 2 Timothy 4:7-8

In heaven, I will be reunited with Christian loved ones and all other believers to live forever in the amazing presence of Almighty God!
“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God will be with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’” Revelation 21:3-4

If you fear death because you do not possess the same security that permeates my life, allow me to leave you with one final thought:

“The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’ And let him who hears say, ‘Come!’ Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life.” Revelation 22:17

What if the unexpected and unavoidable
crashes into your life and
Today becomes Your day to meet God?
ARE YOU READY?

Trusting God

2008-06-01T14:35:00.002-04:00

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-8

Life often seems to overflow with trials and challenges. Yet, even when there is no imminent threat on the horizon, many of us worry and fret over things we fear may happen. We live in dread of the "what ifs..." What if I don't get something I want with all of my heart? What if I lose my job or get sick or someone I trust betrays me? What if I lose a game, a relationship, a business contract, or a place on the team?

As we work on strengthening our relationship with the Lord, letting go of our desires and truly believing that God is in control; that He cherishes us; and will work all things together for our good despite what appears to be evidence to the contrary can be a difficult hurdle to overcome. Yet, while difficult - it can be done and the reward is undoubtedly worth the effort. When we reach a place in our hearts of total dependence on the Lord - we achieve true liberation! We learn to shift our desires away from the temporal things of the world to the real treasure God desires for us.

Imagine yourself resting securely in the palm of God's hand. As God considers the details and circumstances of your life, He deliberately arranges them for the purpose of nurturing your spiritual development. He knows the lessons needed to position you to serve Him effectively and how your choices of whether or not to claim these opportunities will impact your life for all of eternity. He knows what is best for you and He wants to bless you. However, since we tend to become distracted by worldly values and the many activities which compete for our attention, God sometimes finds it necessary to pry our fingers off of the idols we treasure in order to give us what we need. If you have ever witnessed a toddler throw a tantrum because he was not allowed to play with something his mother knew to be a danger to him, you can envision the way our reactions often appear to God. We waste precious time clamoring and crying over something that would only hurt us if we were allowed to possess it.

Whatever challenge is worrying you today, stop for a moment and ask yourself, "Is what I am convinced I desperately need in this situation something with eternal value or temporary value? Would God agree with my assessment?" and adjust your thinking about it accordingly. Either way, the God who laid the foundations of the earth, established the cycles of nature, and breathed life into your body is certainly capable of taking care of His beloved child. Resolve to make changes in this area today. Lay down the fears that are keeping you awake at night and your stomach in knots and entrust them to God. Just as the toddler eventually learns that Mom and Dad were right, one day all will be made clear and you will also understand how deeply and faithfully you have been loved by your Father.

The Wonder of Living in His Presence

2008-02-14T14:25:00.002-05:00

I was very tired when I went to bed Tuesday night and expected to fall asleep immediately. Instead, I found myself contemplating a passage of scripture found in Ecclesiastes 3:11, “…He has also set eternity in the hearts of men…” As I considered the full implications of these words, I realized this scripture points directly to the root cause of much of the brokenness and heartache in our world today. Our hearts yearn for something meaningful that will last; something eternally significant. Yet, in the past 50 years, our culture has systematically stripped away even the pretense of "eternal” from everything we are simultaneously encouraged to value.

Consider this, eternal security cannot be found in:

Our jobs – people are employed as long as their contributions to the company exceed their costs.

Our relationships – commitment has been redefined as "I will be with you as long as I love you".

Our status and positions – You will be forgotten as soon as someone else’s nameplate appears on your desk.

Our appearance – youthful beauty and vitality are venerated while all evidence of aging must be hidden or erased.

Our possessions – a comfortable nest egg can vanish overnight with a sharp, unexpected drop in the stock market.

Our moral values – truth has become relative to the situation with no absolute right or wrong behaviors.

Our meaning – Since the world insists there is no God, boundaries have been removed, purpose has been made redundant, and hope has been lost.

Is it any wonder so many seek escape through drugs and alcohol, throw-away behaviors and suicide?

Realizing sleep was out of the question until I transferred some of these ideas from thought to paper, I quietly slipped out of bed and jotted down a page full of notes. It was after 1 am before I returned to bed. When I awakened Wednesday morning, my thoughts were once again preoccupied with this verse. I have learned to pay attention when God impresses a passage of scripture upon my heart in such a powerful way and fully expected to encounter this verse again at some point during the day. (It thrills my soul every time God confirms a message He has spoken to me in some tangible way!)

I eagerly opened my devotion books thinking it might be one of my verses for the day but it wasn’t there. After my devotion time with the Lord, I worked on a message for an upcoming speaking event until I stopped just after lunch to attend a visitation at a local funeral home. My brother-in-law’s sister was unexpectedly called home to be with the Lord this past weekend and I planned to meet my husband for the visitation. Although I wanted to support the family during their time of loss, I had decided to miss the funeral because it was being held in the chapel of the funeral home. I had not reentered this room since my son’s funeral service four years ago and I feared the emotional impact of revisiting the site of such intense pain and brokenness.

As I made the short trip to meet my husband, I began to reconsider my decision to miss the funeral. God revealed to me that this chapel was merely a room made of brick and mortar and had no power to hurt me. In fact, He has given both me and my son victory over this devastating situation and I felt convicted to claim that victory by confronting my fears. I resolved to do it and depend upon my Lord for my strength.

Later, as Jasper and I prepared to enter the chapel, I felt my heart begin to pound very fast but, otherwise, I was doing okay. I did not feel overwhelmed by grief as I had anticipated. Instead, I felt bathed in a peaceful confidence! We chose our seat and I was able to calmly examine the room while cherishing the special bond I will always share with my beloved son. The service began and just a few minutes later, it happened! The pastor opened his Bible and announced he would be reading from Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3. Is it possible to be expectantly astonished? Such a seeming contradiction best describes my reaction; especially when the passage he read aloud to us included verse 11!

Oh, my precious Lord and Savior! How kind, affirming, comforting and encouraging You are! If this was all He did for me on this amazing day, it would have been enough and so appreciated but there was more yet to come!

(If you were to ask either of my sons, “What one song did your mom sing to you as a child that you most associate with being held in her arms and rocked to sleep?” They would immediately respond You Are My Sunshine!

This singing tradition (not the rocking!) continued even after my boys grew into young men. Whenever I felt they needed some extra loving comfort or encouragement from their mom, I would ask, “Do you want me to sing You Are My Sunshine to make you feel better?”

Since my babies were now old enough to recognize their mom's serious limitations in the area of anything musical, this question always resulted in laughter followed by a hasty, “No thanks, Mom!”)

The funeral was preparing to end and I felt glad I had decided to attend. The first notes of the final song filled the room causing me to catch my breath! You guessed it - You Are My Sunshine! I gasped and my eyes filled with tears of gratitude. Can you imagine what it meant to me to re-enter the site of such heartrending pain and have my God wrap His powerful arms around me and love me like this?!

What kind of God cares so much for His hurting children that He is willing to walk with us through every trial regardless of how big or how small? What kind of God would bless my trust in Him with such abundance? What kind of eternal, unmerited love is this?

Just think, if I had chosen to bow to defeat and avoid the funeral service rather than obediently and trustingly claim the victory He has already given me, I would have missed His blessings!

What kind of God, indeed! He is exactly the kind you and I need and the only possible solution to the yearning for eternity He has placed in our hearts!

What about you? Are you bowing to painful challenges and accepting defeat when God is standing near; ready to deliver eternal victory into your hands? I invite you to claim His promises right now and prepare to receive the awesome wonder of His presence filling up all of the empty places in your heart! My prayer for you today and every day is that you never spend another moment anywhere except cradled in the arms of your loving Creator!

God's Economy

2008-01-09T14:23:00.000-05:00

The beginning of a new year is typically a time for reflecting upon the past year and making plans for the future. It is also a season many of us associate with tax return preparation and financial planning. Last night I finished plugging in all of my ministry sales and expenses for the year and realized that once again I was looking at a deficit; this one was almost twice the size of the one last year! Regardless of the frequency of speaking events or number of book sales generated, my ministry never even comes close to realizing a profit. Does it surprise you to learn that despite this poor financial performance, I feel like a raging success? Let me explain why.

My ministry work for the Lord could produce a profit if I approached it in those terms but I don't because my driving motivation is to share the wonder of living in His presence with others. Quite often, I must spend money rather than make money to take advantage of those opportunities. As I sat reviewing my profit and loss report last night, I realized by all secular standards my ministry is an absolute failure. Everything that flows in, flows right back out and then some! This violates every business principle I have ever learned. However, as I considered the thousands of lives that have been touched, the hearts that have come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the desperate who have told me they found a reason to cling to Jesus through my testimony of God’s grace, I began to experience the warm glow of success; not worldly success that breeds pride but rather the matchless gift of basking in His approval and the certainty that He is using me to make an eternal difference for Him!

My heart's desire is share with others His awesome power to overcome the debilitating forces of rejection and loneliness with a love that can never be lost; His supernatural ability to replace anxiety and depression with a peaceful joy that exists independent of circumstances; His matchless sensitivity to reach into the secret recesses of our hearts and transform the darkness into the radiant unquenchable light of hope; and His amazing grace that promises redemption to even the most heinous of sinners. When someone experiences the liberating power of His touch in the most secret places of the heart, it becomes quickly apparent that the love of Jesus is truly irresistable! Jesus is the only answer to this restless yearning that causes us to feel that something vital is missing from our lives. I know this because I have personally experienced the transformations described above! We were created by Him and for Him (Colossians 1:16) and until we recognize this immutable truth and surrender to His purpose for our lives, true happiness will forever evade our grasp.

Satan would much prefer that we allow this inner restlessness to drive us toward passions and addictions that he can then use to destroy us. Searching for answers in all of the wrong places will always produce tragic consequences which are easily observable in the broken lives of those around us. My gratitude that God allows someone like to me to stand in the gap and bring His life saving message to others knows no bounds!

As I drifted off to sleep last night, I told Him, “Lord, your economy is certainly upside down from everything I have been taught about success but I am committed to following you and so grateful you provide me with the means to do so.”
This morning as I prepared to start the day, I silently asked my Lord to lead me to a place of encouragement in His Word that would underscore what He has taught me about His economy. (I didn't feel any reservations about the path He has chosen for me but absolutely love to receive His affirmations!) I decided to begin my private devotion time with Him this morning by checking to see what my "Verse for Today" was on my website. It was such a clear and powerful confirmation, I decided to share His message with you! Here it is:
Matthew 6:19-21 (New International Version)
Treasures in Heaven
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Once again, my God is faithful to encourage and guide me as I commit my heart to seek His face and walk in obedience to His will. I know my God is real and can do everything He says He can do because I talked to Him this morning. And...He talked back to me! I KNOW HIM! May you realize the full power of walking with Him today and everyday! Praise His Holy name!

Leaving the Security of the Incubator

2007-12-15T14:20:00.000-05:00

Have you ever felt blinded by the perfectly obvious? God revealed something to me this morning so extraordinary it took my breath away and yet so simple, I cannot imagine why I didn’t realize it sooner. Actually, I do know why. I have developed enough experience with God to know He opens my eyes to truth when He has brought me to the place where I am ready to deal with it. So what is this spectacular truth?
For several months now I have been struggling with an increasingly restless feeling and an inner certainty that I am not doing everything God wants me to do in service to Him. Yet, when I examine my activities, it is clear they center on Him. My time is filled with writing books and messages, speaking to church congregations and women’s groups, television and radio interviews, attending Christian conferences and training seminars, sharing Him with strangers or casual acquaintances using evangelistic bookmarks, saturating my life with His presence through prayer and Bible study, and financially supporting the work of other ministries. At times, my life is literally a whirlwind of Christian activity! Yet, I could clearly sense God saying to me, “You are not doing what I want you to do.”

“But what do You want me to do?” I wondered.

The answer began to unfold for me three weeks ago. I was attending a three day School of Evangelism at the Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove in Asheville, NC. I arrived Tuesday afternoon, checked into my room and boarded the shuttle for the short ride over to the training facility. Once there, I enjoyed a wonderful evening that included great fellowship, outstanding worship and training, and a delicious dinner.

By the time I prepared for bed several hours later, I was eagerly anticipating the seminars scheduled for the following day; particularly one entitled, “The Battle for a Generation” by Ron Hutchcraft which promised a practical and effective approach to bridging the gap between God’s church and lost young people. This one immediately captured my attention and I made a note about the time and place it was scheduled. I went to sleep feeling great and also grateful to have this amazing opportunity.

Oh, how quickly things can change! I awoke early the following morning to the sound of the alarm clock and immediately realized something was very wrong. The room was spinning, my head was pounding and my stomach felt terrible. I made myself get into the shower and managed to get dressed but by the time I was supposed to leave for the first seminar, I realized I couldn’t do it. I lay down on the bed and resolved to try again in time for the next seminar. Three different times throughout the morning I attempted to get up but each time was forced back to bed.

In tears, I questioned God about why He would allow this to happen. I had no doubt I was supposed to be here and confident I was supposed to participate in the 3:00 seminar by Ron Hutchcraft. The power of that conviction was undeniable yet I felt too sick to leave my room! I called my husband and told him what was happening. Since I feared feeling even worse the following day when I would have to check out, I told him I should probably just give up on attending the training and attempt to drive home before nightfall.

Jasper offered to drive to Asheville so He could follow me home but his next words resonated in my heart and caused me to immediately change my mind. He said, “Debbie, do you think this is some sort of a test?” I thought about the powerful training I was missing as a result of my sudden, mysterious illness and resolved that unless God allowed Satan to drop me in the floor before leaving my room, I would not miss any more of it.

A short time later, I was seated in the auditorium still feeling terrible but at least I was there. As Ron began to speak about the hopelessness that characterizes the lives of today’s youth and of the desperate need they feel for a love that will never fail, I realized why Satan had been so determined to prevent me from hearing this message. With these inspired words, God engraved an arrow upon my heart that clearly pointed to the work He wants me to do and explained the reason for my restlessness.

I have been privileged to be used by God to reach many hearts for Him through the doors He has opened for me. I am grateful for each one. Yet, He has revealed to me that all of my activities carry a common characteristic – they allow me to maintain a safe distance from those I minister to. Although I care deeply and have been on my face before God in prayer for their needs, I am not personally invested in their lives. I deliver a message and then I move on to the next group.

This distance has allowed me to protect my heart; a heart that has been completely shattered and then knit back together again with the unbreakable thread of God’s love and faithfulness. In the past four years, God has held my heart in “His incubator”. He has fed me with His Word and strengthened me for the day I would be ready to leave the security of sharing His light in a relatively “safe environment”. He sheltered me until I was ready to venture into the kind of service for Him that exposes my heart once again to disappointment, rejection, and loss.

I needed that time in His incubator and, quite honestly, a big part of me wants to stay right where I am but I can’t. Not because He won’t let me but because I have experienced the life-changing power of His love. Possessing such a precious gift means I cannot stay in my comfort zone if my choice for security translates into allowing others to die without Him. If I am going to make a real impact for Him, keeping a safe distance is not going to work. I must get personally involved.

My conversation with Him this morning shed light on the problem. I was contemplating a meeting I had yesterday with the leader of a Christian organization dedicated to evangelizing and equipping youth for the kingdom of Christ. It appears that God may be creating an opportunity for me to become personally involved with ministering to these kids and I was evaluating the risk to myself.

I said to Him, “Lord, I think I know where you are leading with this. What if I am not ready? I am comfortable with the way things are. The people closest to me are saved and love the Lord. I don’t have anyone in my life right now that is making bad choices, engaging in risky life-threatening behavior, or abusing drugs and alcohol. I don’t go to bed fearing I will receive another call in the night that will rip out my heart and devastate my world and, furthermore, I like it this way!”

As soon as the words entered my mind, I realized the magnitude of what I had said and felt overcome with shame.

Jesus gently asked, “Is this how you reach a lost world; sharing light with those who already have light? Surrounding yourself with those who will affirm and support you? Is your purpose to make your life secure or to allow Me to make your life meaningful?”

This morning, I surrendered my “safe place” to God. I have resolved I will risk my heart again for the sake of reaching lost kids. I will enter this “Battle for the minds, hearts, and eternities” of these kids because they are worth it. If Satan destroys other lives it will not be because I have defaulted in my responsibility. Even if I am confronted with everything I fear, I realize with Him living within me, I can never be completely broken again.

How will you respond to the needs of the lost around you? Will you stay in your “safe place” or will you accept the risk to your heart and get personally involved? Accept the challenge with me and join those already working in the trenches! The value of a precious soul is far too high of a price to pay for the illusion of security.

In Ron’s book, The Battle for a Generation, he shares a story of a visit he made to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. There he learned of an organization called the US Life Saving Service, a forerunner to today’s Coast Guard. These brave individuals were willing to regularly risk everything, including their very lives, to rescue the drowning because they had “heard the cries of the dying”. In response to this desperate need, their motto became, “You have to go out. You don’t have to come back.”

How deep of a commitment are we willing to make to Christ, the One who gave everything because of His great love for us? Will we agree to go out…risk everything… and trust the outcome to Him?
Oh Lord, may it be so!
(By the way, I woke up the day after the seminar feeling great again. Classic example of spiritual warfare!)

Exploding the Myths - Praise Report!

2007-04-22T14:41:00.000-04:00

WOW!!! What an Amazing Event!

God filled Emerald Baptist Church and our hearts with His presence Saturday night! His love rained down and many young people responded to His call and were liberated from the power of sin in their lives! Praise God for abundantly pouring out His mercy and grace upon us! Praise God for fellow believers who are willing to come together as humble servants with no thought of church affiliations or denominational barriers but simply to serve and worship our Lord together for the purpose of evangelism!

A special shout-out to youth pastor Jerry Eidson who responded with passionate obedience and faith when God planted the idea for this event in his heart - this man has a fire in his bones for God! (See Jeremiah 20:9). May we all burn so brightly! Also to Pastor Curt for His leadership and enthusiastic support of all efforts to reach beyond the walls of his church for Christ.
Everywhere I turn, I see evidence of God working great and awesome change in the lives of others and using His church in exciting new ways to spread the gospel and launch revival all over the world. I am constantly on my knees before Him in awestruck wonder! From the bottom of my heart, I thank Him for allowing me and my family to be a small part of His work and for the privilege of participating in this special night.

Thanks again Emerald Baptist for inviting me! Shine on!

Irrepressible Joy!

2007-01-21T14:17:00.000-05:00

In the past few years, I find that I am repeatedly questioned regarding the reason behind my perpetual smile. My irrepressible joy seems to take people by surprise; especially those who are familiar with the heartbreak I have suffered. You see, in December 2003 my beloved twenty one year old son made the irreversible decision to take his own life. And when Stephen closed his eyes on this world; the light went out of mine. For two months following Stephen's death, I was tormented by one relentless question: "Where is my son now?" and I didn't know the answer.
I am intimately familiar with the mind-numbing terror, the crippling regret, and the suffocating despair of thinking that one so dearly loved might be spending eternity in hell. My pain was deepened by the knowledge that my halfhearted and sporadic attempts to live my Christian faith before him had failed to provide Stephen with the spiritual foundation he desperately needed to overcome the trials and temptations of life. I had failed my son in the most important responsibility I had to him.
Although I had done nothing at all to deserve such Grace, God reached into this pit of hopelessness, tenderly raised me up and placed my feet on the solid ground of His Word. He has confirmed to me repeatedly that my precious son is safely by His side and because of the choice each of us made to accept Christ as Savior, Stephen and I have the promise of a glorious reunion and of spending eternity with the One who made such glory possible. The peace that accompanies such a revelation has instilled within me a happiness that exists completely independent of my daily circumstances.
The intense love and radiant glory of God's presence within me overwhelms me. He spills from my heart, colors my thoughts, words, and behavior and carries me safely through the pain, fear, and trials that are an unavoidable part of life in this fallen world. Because of Him, I possess a joy that cannot be contained!
So, the short answer to the question of how I can be so happy in the midst of such heartache and brokenness is this: My life was shattered, God restored it, and I am so thrilled about what He has done for me that nothing can erase the smile from my face!
Are you in need of similar deliverance today?